this is the second post today.obviously cassie's bored..she has got nothing else better to do..

the only reason you dont see any pics on my blog is due to the fact that whenever i try to upload some images..there always seems to be an error in connection.damn.i remember about 6 months ago i spent like 3 hrs just tryong to upload 1 single pic..which failed.GRRRRRRRAAAAAAA..

so i have completely given up.so next time dont complain if you cant find any images on this boring blog.if you dont like to read, too bad.thats all i have.((:

cmp is next week.i dont think we're prepared.haha.we can barely remember our lines.in fact, we cant even remember them at all!!i have the longest lines..every scene im bound to say something mann..so next week's our last practice.then the day after is the party...for the kids.but its fun to do this sort of thing la..as in you get to bond more with your batch of mates and you get some new friends..and you get to play around with all those kiddies!!!!i totally cant resist like the lower pri kids..they're just so adorable..especially the short chubby ones.haha.the bad thing is..my brother's gonna be there too..i CANT BELIEVE IT..hes gonna watch me being act out an enlightened gurl..and i swear he's gonna continuously torture and torment me by constantly bringing it up.seriously la..i think rebecca deserves to die..along with all you ppl who raised your flingy arms during meeting.haha.jkjk.

im surprised i havent had any gastric pain yet.as in..ive hardly eaten since like monday or something.everyday is just this small meal or bits and pieces of food.and amazingly, im not losing weight.im actually gaining.this is so WRONG!!!!i dont want to be gaining weight..or body mass(which is actually the correct term but wth).there's something wrong with my body system lahh..my body's impossible.bleah.im so sick of not being able to understand what my body wants me to do..i always have to make wild guesses and if i get them wrong i fall sick just like that.maybe its because when i was born my stomach wasnt fully developed yet.so whenever my mummy fed me i would just puke.'like a fountain' as quoted from my dad.but then again..what has that got to do with me now????i mean, a few weeks ago my stomach was like expanding like crazy..in would gorge on all sorts of junk food AND eat humongous meals..and half an hour later i would get hungry again.but now i completely cant eat anything.this is terrible.maybe i i have depression or something..haha..

ok..Symptoms of Depression

You feel miserable and sad. (not so sure about this.it happens occasionally but then again, who doesnt?)
You feel exhausted a lot of the time with no energy . (not true im always super hyped up))
You feel as if even the smallest tasks are sometimes impossible. (OMG this is so true)
You seldom enjoy the things that you used to enjoy-you may be off food or may 'comfort eat' to excess. (ok..freaky)
You feel very anxious sometimes. (getting freakier)
You don't want to see people or are scared to be left alone. Social activity may feel hard or impossible. (O M G)
You find it difficult to think clearly. (this is always happening to me so cant judge on this)
You feel like a failure and/or feel guilty a lot of the time. (no failure..but guilty yes..)
You feel a burden to others. (hur..havent exactly thought about this before)
You sometimes feel that life isn't worth living. (completely true)
You can see no future. There is a loss of hope. You feel all you've ever done is make mistakes and that's all that you ever will do. (nope.this is not me)
You feel irritable or angry more than usual. (i dunno.you'll have to ask ppl who have been spending time with me)
You feel you have no confidence. (quite often)
You spend a lot of time thinking about what has gone wrong, what will go wrong or what is wrong about yourself as a person. You may also feel guilty sometimes about being critical of others -or even thinking critically about them.(ALOT OF TIME)
You feel that life is unfair.(ive been growing under this phrase..so cant use this either)
You have difficulty sleeping or wake up very early in the morning and can't sleep again. You seem to dream all night long and sometimes have disturbing dreams. (disturbing dreams, yes.not being able to sleep again, no)
You feel that life has/is 'passing you by.' (no way.)
You may have physical aches and pains which appear to have no physical cause, such as back pain.(all the time)

ok..there are 18 symptoms of which 3 are not applicable.taking all the not so sures aside..therell be13 left.so out of 13, i have 9 which say i might be suffering from depression.but haha.i dont think so lah..this is just to add some life into my already dead blog.((:

ppl youve got to tag mann!!otherwise its gonna becomelike some crazy blog..where the blogger just posts and no one reads..)): i dont want to have a blog like that ok????must flood my tagboard kayy?

ok guys.luv ya.

p.s.im super excited for con..eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!haha..my brain is going cuckoo..but hey!haha.

*squishes*
~cassie~

5:21 PM ·

heyhey.

i cant believe my parents went on holiday without me..boohoo..

and after that they dumped me at some distant aunt's place to stay the night..

but at least she was nice..she let me use her com till about 12.30 in the morning until she came in and screamed her lungs off, waking the whole family.MALU.i was chatting..and doing heymath homework..which reminds me, i still have the almost 100% uncompleted prime thing..

basically i just went for tuition from 2-4 ..then headed back home to put down my incredibly heavy bag(i dont even know why its so heavy..there's just like this stack of foolscap and my pencil case and wallet and phone) took a smaller one and headed to church.

oh yeah, it was raining. and even after folding up my jeans super high it STILL became wet.so irritating.thank goodness i didnt wear sneakers, or else they would have been squeaking like alicia's during tuition...haha.i didnt know my shoes were wet actually, until i took them off, dried my feet and slipped them back on.they were cold and damp.but i couldnt possibly wear my white slippers..it would be worse.so wore the same old shoe back again.

then i went for mass with becky.and she fell asleep during sermon.i was like..WHATT???HOW CAN YOU FALL ASLEEP?(i am such a hypocrite la, i used to fall asleep during sermons when i was in p3 too.)then there was some part where this priest(i think he's like spanish or something) he said 'consecrated life' then rebecca heard it as 'constipated life' cause his diction wasnt very good..then she started sniggering.so i was like'what?what??'and she said'stop looking at me like that!!' cause i was so eager to know..so she said'ill tell you after mass, youll surely laugh.'and after mass she told me.i laughed.but not THAT long.i mean, after cmp meeting, she was still laughing about it..i wasnt.

meeting was fun..somehow when it came to the dinner scene all of us started laughing..again and again.it just seems like every single dinner scene that we practised is sure to have that laughing powder present or something.oh and louis gave rebecca a cactus.for her birthday present.HOW SWEET LA!!haha.no. cassie is not jealous.im not ok??haha i feel happy for her..((:oh yea..cassie's is on the 8th next month..(DOUBLE HINT)

this morning i woke up at 8.realised its the 12th nov..my grandmas 5th death anniversary tomorrow..but theres school tmr..so i went to her niche today..spent the whole morning there.reflected on some stuff..shed some tears..its just so fast..5 year just zooms past like that.ok fine. i admit that going to the niche was part of an excuse to leave my aunt's home.((:but i really wanted to go see her.so i just sat at the st.francis xavier's columbarium till about 12. took the bus back..and tadah..im back in home sweet home.im still trying to get someone to go out with me..though i have to say that if it involves eating, id rather not go.my stomach has been feeling completely bloated for the past weekk..i just cant seem to fill it up with anything except water.

my parents are coming home tonight.finally.hmm.maybe i shall go for mass again tonight..cause i didnt exactly grasp the full meaning of yest's sermon..but going for mass alone just feels so..weird.

ok now im going to bug some ppl to go out with me.bye guys.remember that cassie loves you.muacks!

*squishes*
~cassie~

12:56 PM ·