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Commonwealth Essay 2007

Chain Reaction

Jodie’s eyes gleamed as she turned on the hot water to full blast. Steaming hot water gushed out at tremendous speeds, hitting wildly against the surface of the bathtub. Mist rapidly enshrouded the small bathroom, and the temperature was constantly rising. Water droplets covered the mirror, forbidding any trace of Jodie’s reflection. Her heart palpitated wildly, and she broke into a malicious grin. “It’s time for revenge. It’s time I get what I have been owed for the longest time.”

“Mummy! Let me go! Don’t do this to me! Mummy!” whimpered little Natalie, as Jodie hauled her out of her chair. Tugging the young girl by her ear, Jodie dragged her to what had become Natalie’s most dreaded and frightening place in the home: the bathroom. “Mummy…” Natalie’s timid voice trailed off as she stared horrendously at what she was about to go through. Looking up, she saw herself gazing into her mother’s hollow eyes, devoid of emotion. And all of a sudden, a familiar expression took over the impassive face, one that only Natalie recognized too well.

As Jodie ripped off Natalie’s much loved dress while clutching on to her ever so tightly, all Natalie could do was squirm and sob. Then, raising her off the ground, Jodie released Natalie’s severely bruised body and released her into steaming hot tub. As she saw Natalie struggling in vain to get out and shrieking at the top of her voice, Jodie felt in control. She felt mighty and formidable. She felt that nothing could stop her. “Shut up, you fool. No one can hear you. You can scream and shout all you want, but that’s only going to make things worse. I swear, if you don’t keep your chattering mouth closed, I will make sure your entire head goes underwater. Be grateful that I am not stopping you from breathing.”

With every loud cry for mercy, Jodie felt herself become bolder and bolder. She was contemplating her next move, when Jodie caught a glimpse of her old rubber duck, lying at the corner of the dusty shelf, at the very end of the bathroom.

And out of the blue, Jodie found herself travelling back to the past.

It was a dark gloomy day. Fierce grey clouds hovered above the sky. Thunder was clashing outrageously and the strong chilly wind was blowing intensely. Shivering, Jodie snuggled herself comfortably into her warm cosy bed with Brandy, her sole friend, the duck made of latex .In the background was the invariable clattering of pots and pans and angry thumps on the dining table.

Unexpectedly, her door barged open abruptly and in, walked her mother, the one person she feared the most, the one person she wished would leave her alone. She noticed her mother’s bloodshot eyes, and knowingly followed her to the kitchen without a word.

“Sit down on the floor.” Jodie sat. “Get your stupid clothes off.” Jodie undressed. “Lie on the stove.” This time, Jodie hesitated. The atmosphere was getting hot, this time maybe, a little too hot. “Do it.” Her mother’s menacing voice rang through her mind. “Do it Jodie. Do it. Listen to me.” Jodie stayed rooted to the ground, stubbornly refusing to do as she was told. She knew the dire consequences, but this was just getting way out of hand. “Oh for heaven’s sake, just get on with it! You know, my own mother used to do this to me, to toughen up my skin. I’m just doing the same to you. A little flame won’t hurt you, trust me.” Trust. That was one thing that Jodie had not felt in the longest time, yet it was the one thing Jodie wanted the most in her life, besides love, to be able to fully believe and trust her mother.

A minute passed in eerie silence. Fed up, Jodie’s mother, to her utter horror, boosted her to the top of the stove and turned on the gas and lit up a bright luminous flame. Upon contact, Jodie screamed in agony as she felt her skin searing and melting away. A second seemed to pass ever so slowly; it felt like centuries for the second hand to move a step. Jodie wailed out in terrible pain, to try and plead with her mother to release her, but unsuccessfully. Her mother refused to let go of her grip.

After what seemed like an eternity, her mother loosened her hold and dropped the barely conscious Jodie to the floor, reminding her, “You must tell no one. Just remember all the disastrous consequences.” Jodie could only weakly nod.

A girl of such young tender age, innocent and sweet, yet she had already gone through so much.

Another yelp from Natalie brought Jodie back to the present. As mounting anger surged through her entire body, Jodie wondered about what had gone wrong. “What did I ever do to my Mummy for her to hate me so much? Why didn’t I ever have a normal mum, one who would bake me cookies and brownies served with ice cream and hot chocolate?” All this while, she had kept it inside her. All this while, all she wanted was to be truly loved. All this while, all she wanted was for someone to be able to understand and comprehend what she had gone through.. “At least someone knows now,” she thought.

Jodie’s mind flashed back to the day of Natalie’s birth.

It had been a lengthy and difficult labour, due to the constant abuse her mother had inflicted upon her in the past. It came to a point where she had to opt for an epidural to stop the excruciating pain. But despite the odds, at two minutes to midnight, boisterous cries filled the sterile delivery ward as Jodie hugged on firmly to her defenseless infant. Gently caressing the newborn, all Jodie could think of was how beautiful and wonderful the world suddenly seemed, how meaningful it suddenly all became.

“She’s perfect. All the way from her beautiful sparkling eyes to her smooth little toes. Mummy’s here, sweetie. Don’t be scared, Mummy’s here to protect you. I promise I will never do anything untoward to you. I promise never to treat you like my own Mummy did. I promise that I will love you with all my heart and soul.”

“Mummy…please let me out. I’m hurting so much. ” Natalie whimpered, almost out of breath. “Mummy…”Without a warning, Natalie’s body became limp, and Jodie realised that Natalie had collapsed.
All at once, realizing what was happening, she snapped into action. Shaking Natalie vigorously, Jodie shouted for her to wake up. “Natalie! Natalie! Oh my goodness, what have I done? Natalie!” Overwhelmed, tears started streaming down her face as she tried to figure out what else to do, when Natalie started quivering and breathing again.

“Mummy?” Natalie enquired timidly.

She glanced at her pitiful daughter. “Oh Natalie, I’m so sorry. I really don’t know what suddenly took hold of me. I lost control of myself and I did to you what only the most bizarre and crazy parent would do to his or her child.”

That night in bed, Jodie realised that the main reason she had done such a heartless deed was because she herself had previously been a victim of this abuse by her own mother, who was also a casualty. She became conscious to the fact that unless this chain was stopped, this doing would never end, and there would be even more innocent parties whose lives would be deeply disturbed. Jodie vowed to let this deed of injustice stop, starting with her.

And so came the end of a chain reaction.

9:39 PM ·