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Sunday, April 27, 2008
oooh wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf.
i really cant take it anymore. i need an outlet to explode on. urghhh. my week's been terrible enough, there is seriously no fking need to make i a hundred times worse. i want to come home to relax and take a breather. not to have you screaming into my face for no freakin reason at all the second i step into the madhouse. not to get myself interrupted in the midst of homeworking and mugging and pianoing and computering. i know you like totally got dumped real bad by the guy you loved with all your heart and soul. i know youre like totally depressed and lifes been superly duperly tough on you. but hey. thats your life. not mine. so leave me freakin alone. GROW UP!AGAIN, IF NEED BE. sometimes i wish you didnt exist. really. and i know i dont really mean it, but at times like now, i pray so hard for you to just poof for the few hours. sometimes i just wish i didnt have to go home at all. i need a break from everything. school.tests.family.cousins.friends.church. EVERYTHING. i wish you were there.maybe you would have made everything better.if not for them at least for me. please save this week for me. im in desperate need of a good one. or at least a normal one. a week where everything goes smoothly. cassie.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
i figured my blog was in need of an emergency revival.
according to RYANGOH,it took me uber long to find out. i sort of agree. this week has been strange.weird.retarded.tiring.pissifying.frustrating.angering.damn-ing.suck egg-ing.maybe its the whole council thing.i cant believe wanting to quit can be so freakin difficult.and imagine this: im not even officially in it yet. i cant believe you even brought morals into the topic.what did it have anything to do with it anyway?what preferential treatment? i suppose yeah,you guys are good,you guys are great, you guys are the best people on earth blablabla.but if i dont think im gonna be happy there, chances are i really wont.so please stop forcing me, and making my life miserable.and yours.seriously, its just wasting both our time. then there's the whole tests thing.and i thought i was getting starting to get the hang of it?i dunno what has happened to my life.its been taken over by a hardcore muggerina. i suppose this is where i start chanting, "no life no life no life.." but i wont. because He is fair. He really is. after a sucky sucky week, he makes this weekend so unforgettable.so cherished.and it was because of this sucky week, i was once again reaffirmed that there were so many people supporting me through. dear, you could have just said you were busy. you could have just turned away, put down the phone. but you didnt. the yc seniors retreat came at the right time.right where i needed it most, for alone time, quiet time (though the fact that homework kept popping up along the way was indeed irritating). details should be up soon.when im free(which i wont be in a long time, heh) and when i feel like posting. oh, we cam-whored alot. i liked that. emo cassie!i should not like cry too long if not my eyes will hurt and i cant see properly the next morning.=/ rockclimbing results out tomorrow!!fingers are crossed and ready to become a v-shape. love,cassie.
Sunday, April 06, 2008
in case you were wondering, im not exactly the same person i was 2 years ago.
so you can just take that stupid apology, swallow it back in and shit it out. need me to be clearer? I. DONT. CARE. seriously. whats your problem? there just isnt a me and you anymore. two years ago, maybe yeah. then you had to go do that. and TWO WHOLE FREAKIN YEARS LATER you apologise. well, thanks anyway. but it isnt gonna work. maybe its just your bad luck that i so happened to already be in a bad mood when you called. maybe its me being anal. but hey. what goes around come around, right? those were your very words after all. its not as though im doing any procrastinating of any sort. the only reason im posting this is cause i know youll read it. so read it and weep. youre the most desperate person ive seen in my life. and you wished i still loved you? HAHA. |