apart from laziness, and the fact that my internet connection is going haywire,
the only thing thats keeping my blog so dead is
HUI HUI SYNDROME.

the last few weeks of idling and somewhat consultations is getting me all confused about what i am, what i want and what to do.i need to think harder, abit, no, alot, more.
you know how sometimes you realise youre so insignificant in the whole big picture?its just one of those things i guess.

i type and delete, not because im thinking if i want to show this to anyone, but because i dont know what im really feeling.its fustrating, sometimes you just want to tell yourself MAKE UP YOUR MIND CASSIE or to shut down your brain and just take a good long sleep. only of course my darn body(and schedule, AMAZINGLY, isnt it supposed to be holidays now? and i still find myself busy enough to lose sleep) wont permit me to.

just yesterday, the realisation suddenly and FINALLY kicked in: i dont have a Plan B for my future. im just so driven by this, and now i realise one doesnt always get what he or she wants. then what? fall into this deep pit and die? i need a backup plan, but im too stupid,stubborn and dumb enough to not create one.

toothpick.

9:14 PM ·