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CASSIE.
081291
IJoln
TKGS
SAJC
netballer
guidie
rockclimber
IHMYC
bunny
cassandra.kiara@gmail.com





Bituwin - template
Dementee - image
Monday, April 30, 2007

I’ve Never Been To Me
Charlene

Hey lady, you lady
cursing at your life
you're a discontented mother
and a regimented wife
I have no doubt
you dream about the things you never do
but I wish someone had talked to me like I wanna talk to you

Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run
Took the hand of a preacher man
and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces
Because I had to be free
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me...

Please lady please lady
don't just walk away
Cause I have this need to tell you
why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me
still living in your eyes
won't you share a part
of a weary heart that has lived a million lives

Oh, I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece
when I sipped champagne on a yacht
I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo
and showed them what I've got
I've been undressed by kings
and I've seen some things that a woman ain't s'pose to see
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me...

Hey, you know what paradise is?
It's a lie
a fantasy we created about people and places
as we like them to be
but you know what truth is?
it's that little baby you're holding
and it's that man you fought with this morning
the same one you are gonna make love to tonight
that's truth that's love

Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children
that might have made me complete
but I, I took the sweet life
I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I spent my life exploring
the subtle whoring
that costs too much to be free
hey lady I've been to paradise
but I've never been to me...

I've been to paradise but I've never been to me...



i love this song.you know what?i think it actually makes alot of sense.sometimes its all about deciding who you wanna be.today for chinese compo there was this topic that had this quote ''早知今日，何必当初。'' suddenly this topic all seemed to piece up together.so basically, if you already know what the consequences are going to be, then why are you still doing this?take for example, the state in which im in now.so i already know im going to do soo super badly for mid-years,but im still online.this is just plain defying what im arguing right now.

sometimes people just dont get the hint.or maybe they do.they feel this intuition but shove it away.EXAMPLE: (friend) says that she has a feeling that there is chinese lesson on that day.so she checks her timetable to make sure there isnt.then she double checks cause there's this strong feeling inside her that says there is chinese today.once again, it(apparently) says no chinese.so she happily goes to school thinking that there's no chinese until i come along.and prove her wrong.kaput.her bubble has just been burst.XD

what im trying to say is that human beings sure are stubborn.you know that if you do one action something unpleasant is going to happen, yet we go ahead and do it anyway.when we do get our deserts, the blame simply gets pushed onto another's shoulders and we all easily forget that it was all our doing in the first place.

this is crucial for us to start beginning to understand ourselves:''每个人对于自己所做的每一件事或做出的每一个决定都必须自行负责。''

in case youre wondering, no i didnt write on this topic for midyears.i couldnt possibly know how to translate everything ive said above (or written) into readable and speakable chinese.instead i wrote about the ageing population.i just linked everything back to ss.and the stuupid letter-writing.they were talking about the sports school and i was happily writing about a sports centre that is fairly new just below my auntie's block!!!like WTH.im SO gonna fail.sheesh.

HAPPY LABOUR DAY IN ADVANCE!!to some, they would know that labour day is the public holiday which i love the most.this year, the mood just isnt there.maybe it is.think of labour day literally.it is pretty true isnt it.

the unfathomable female psyche??maybe youre right after all.((=

<3 cassie

Monday, April 23, 2007

everything's so bloody crammed up inside my brain.

i need a form of relief like, right now.something that can temporarily remove all my worries, stress, fears,uncertainties,just EVERYTHING horrible and upsetting i have stuck inside me now, and to have that 24hours of pure fun, before returning to reality.maybe removing my brain wouldnt be such a bad idea either.

everyone's going, oh you'll do fantastically well this term.just pray to God, he'll guide you.youre so smart, sure can ace your exam one la.aiya, just sacrifice abit lo.its the final stretch anyway.

everyone thinks im so smart.everyone thinks im so darn good.i think im going to pop anytime soon.like this balloon which you blow up till it bursts.

stop filling my mind with crap ok?ive got enough to worry about already.

my head hurts from everything.my heart hurts from everything.lets see..screaming?no that wont do.my parents will come running to me with a chopper.going out?no wait, that requires time, and i DONT have the luxury of it.chilling out at home?SURE, if my every move wasnt under scrutiny of the stupid camera.

i swear, when this is over, im really going to go crazy.i dont care how to do it and how im going to do it, but if you're going out to have some fun after mid-years, let me know.i need a break.before this stupid vicious cycle starts again.

i think the suck-egging twisted ankle did something to my mood.sheesh.

my god.i hate this feeling.

anyone interested in phantom of the opera?cause seriously, im soo bored at home i wouldnt mind it.

<3 cassie

i love you my sweetheart.thanks for trusting me.i'll always be here for you,so just come to me should you need a shoulder.and thanks for listening today.its the first time i actually let any of this out.somehow i realised we are very similar in thought.and i guess also because if i didnt let it out,the wirings inside me might get overheated.dont give up me dear.you should always strive okay?dont let one rotten egg spoil the entire basket.it was because my mum told me that we always have to move on and not let our perspective of a person change our whole way of life, that i promised to try and not get affected by it.i guess i did change, in a way.i hid my feelings more.but that doesnt mean you should too.cause what i did was a mistake,i find it hard to show my real feelings now.life is precious.grab onto it while you still can.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

great.



now i have sexy legs and the whole school knows about it.



fine.maybe not the whole school.but still.

ivy!ee..embarassing to have my legs showing on speech day leh..its this formal event and suddenly there's this tkgian on the powerpoint slide with her big fat legs showing..

but oh well.

yc session-'the action in inaction and the inaction in action'

what do you think about THAT?well, think of the action in inaction as you queueing up to buy food.people see it as doing nothing, but you ARE in fact doing something, which is duh, queueing up and waiting!and think of the inaction in action as (koping from ivy's blog) having a really hectic week at school and doing tons and tons of homework, which in fact wont help at all.

im in the neenjah mood.someone neenjah me to wake me up.

midyears are in 9 days and im still blogging.im like digging my own grave.

happy birthday to all my friends who are celebrating their birthdays this weekend!

<3cassie


Friday, April 13, 2007

black friday.

is it really that terrible??in fact, i think it was/is probably one of the best days of my life ever!

first of all, i become a superhero with SUPERSTRENGTH, then im given a title to my name, i recieve tons and tons of gifts, im officially out of guides and i got to play soccer in the rain!!what could be so bad and so wrong about that??

CAPTAIN CASSIE SHALL SAVE THE DAY.

the speeches were charming.i almost cried, only that i didnt cause i was gonna prove kow wrong.and that half video presentation on the sec4 superheroes was really cool.i cant WAIT to see the rest of it.

the partehh was sweet.thanks to all my lovely bougain patrol mates who made my last session indeed memorable.i got my tote bag, a lovely decorated wine glass, plenty plenty sweets,AND MY VERY OWN PERSONALIZED SUPERHERO SOCKS!!!!oh man..theyre soo cool.heehee.plus my fellow batchmates gave out tons of snacks and food.

i forgot my camera.that was probably the only dao mei thing today.i couldnt take photos of my own farewell and my BABY CATIE!!!!made of marshmallows during bio and eaten less than 20 minutes after it was procreated.i did manage to take photos using my phone camera so not all had been lost.XD

baby catie tatsed soo sweet.i was hoping there was more of her.oh.did you know that she has a twin??or maybe a clone.and THATS her evil clone.not mine.mine is 100% ORIGINAL.

haha i scored my first soccer goal today!heehee.i was darn happy.XD when i play against my brother, i almost dont get the ball AT ALL.so pissifying.but hahahahha..i had my firts taste of soccer.today.only yucky thing was we had to do headers and i had just washed my hair less than 2 hours before that la!then i kept heading with the wrong part of the head(the crown) so after two headers i felt super mabok.hehe.but still alert enough to score. :D

I AM A GOOD DIPLOMAT SO TOMMY KOH SHOULD CONSIDER HIRING ME TO WORK FOR HIM!heehee.

sppech day tomorrow.bleah.id rather be at home studying.

<3 cassie


wierd thingy.

These are the rules:Each player of this game starts out by giving 6 weird things about themselves.People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly.In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names.After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog!

1. i ALWAYS wake up 2 minutes before my alarm clock rings.
2. i need to read every night before i sleep otherwise i'll toss and turn in bed.
3. i have a weird obsession with toenails.especially the smallest toe.[DONT think too much into
it]
4. i have this weird habit of always ensuring that when i walk up stairs i always end off with my
left foot.
5. i photocopied my hand before.
6. i have pretty good analytical skills.i can tell if youre a sanguine or a choleric or a melancholic
or a phlegmatic(i think its this) etc.

the 6 people:(sorry la i got no other people to pick le)
-phoebe
-alvin
-ceci
-daniel LEOW
-martin[YEAH YOU!!]
-angel

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

you know what?

im sorry.

for being always busy, for being always unavailable.you took the time to ask me, and all i did was to slowly decline every single one.

im being selfish, arent i?

i cant even give you that one small thing you want.one small thing that both of us want.

its always either "sorry i got tuition" or "im not free" or even "cca."and just like that, i blew you away.

something tells me this isnt gonna work.so if it really doesnt, then i just want you to understand,i really didnt mean to say no.i really didnt mean to hurt you.

and that im really really sorry.

i just need you to know this.

<3 cassie

Saturday, April 07, 2007

this day cant possibly get any better.

sure, ive still got heaps and heaps of school work waiting for me, but right now..im just too happy to even be able to focus.

seriously, i never thought we would be able to go out like this together again.as in a whole big family, just like before.ive already brainwashed into my head that hanging out as this one big group is just this fantasy and a dream.so guess what?my dream did come true after all.PTL!!

we played some badminton..and the shuttlecock kept hitting my head..no practice, so thats what you get.at least we managed to have some uber great laughs about it.bowling!i managed to get my turkey.twice.and my 148 personal highscore.=))

thak goodness everything turned out ok.you could still feel the tenision and stuff, but im just happy i got to have this memory.=D

passion play yesterday was terrific!it went so well!hahaha..still..maybe i exaggerated the mary of magdala character too much.i thought it was abit shaky..haha.and i realised my face was like completely covered by the veil(scarf) that no one could see me!!!!!what a pity.i really really cried.it would have been cool to let them see my real tears.XD

today my mum got into a car accident.and it was SO COOL!!ee..sadistic i know.so we were turning into some newton road that was undergoing construction works, which meant that two-way traffic had to share like one small narrow road.so there my mum and i was, waiting patiently for about 20 minutes.and when it was almost our turn to turn in, this red chevrolet aveo came zooming in.then all at once you could hear all the cars behind my mum start to horn continuosuly.the lady also damn da dan.kena horn so many times still dunno how to get lost.so then she just tried to squeeze into this small narrow lane in front of my mum's car.and then my mum inched forward and stopped.the lady, still thinking she could go in, started pressing down on her accelerator and her backside rubbed against my mum's front.cause the car was pretty new(SGP i think)so she got kinda freaked out.as in the lady in the chev.so she sorta took a super long time to unbuckle her seatbelt and got out of the car.my mum got out of the car and the lady started shouting,"OEI!WHY YOU KNOCK INTO ME??" "uh i didnt.you knocked yourself into me.and anyway you should have queued up from the beginning.all of us have been queueing for 20 minutes and here you are scolding me?please get your effing facts right." "OHHH.SO YOU PURPOSELY KNOCK INTO ME LA.BECAUSE YOU DONT WANT ME TO OVERTAKE YOU." "uh..i didnt knock into you, i said that already.please recheck your facts ok?"(mum starts to get pissed.lady returns to car and gets a pen and paper.firously scribles down my mum's car number.) "lady, if you are gonna report it to the police, youre digging your own grave.because you arent even supposed to be here in the first place.so go right ahead and report, because im not the one who's gonna be getting into trouble."(i was pretty sure i could see the driver in the car behind us laughing away.)"WHAT!!!HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT??YOU KNOCKED INTO ME AND YOU STILL DARE TO TELL ME NOT TO CALL THE POLICE!"(she is joined by her angmoh passenger, this really short fat guy who screams at my mum)"WHY DID YOU DO THAT?WHY WHY WHY?DONT YOU HAVE ANYTHING ELSE BETTER TO DO??IM TELLING YOU, IF WE GO TO THE POLICE RIGHT NOW, YOURE DEAD!" "uh sir, just because youre a guy doesnt make me any less scared.because its obvious who's in the right and who's in the wrong.look behind me, im sure all of them would obviously agree that i did nothing wrong.try beating all my witnesses.and excuse me, but youre blocking traffic.because if you dont move, neither can i, and all the cars will then REALLY blame you." then both of them have nothing left to say, so they quietly get back into the car and drive off.

tell me my mum rocks.haha i was laughing inside the car the whole way through!!it was SO FUNNY.their expressions were like super stoned when my mum started arguing in her quiet but strong way.cause i guess they didnt expect my mum to be that sort of person.

what makes today so great is that i once again realised how much my parents DO love me.and i love them too for that.

and also all you guys.=DD

<3 cassie

Monday, April 02, 2007

yay!

IHMYC retreat photos are finally up!haha..most of them were group photos and have an uncanny resemblance to one another..but oh wells..enjoy!


im surprised that i dont look like i just cried in these photos.((=


SWEET!!!EVERYONE GOES CRAZYYYYYYY.........


roy!!lalala.thats not how a neenjah is suppposed to look like..nono..awww..haha.


noooo!!!!!!!!!THE NEENJAHS ARE COMING AFTER US!!!!!HELP!!!
my team's modified version of the london bridge.except this one's real holy.and masking-tapey.XDXD

haha.lame lame post!but i had fun!!

haha ok.

on a sadder note, i think..no wait..i KNOW im soo gonna flunk my stupid chinese oral.i was like stuttering the WHOLE ENTIRE way through.i sounded like i was speaking greek.not that ive heard the greeks speak yet but whatever.

physics SPA tomorrow.die!heh.i wonder how i managed to survive..suddenly when all the tests come back pulls me back into reality.

ok i gtg.

<3>