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CASSIE.
081291
IJoln
TKGS
SAJC
netballer
guidie
rockclimber
IHMYC
bunny
cassandra.kiara@gmail.com





Bituwin - template
Dementee - image

Saturday, June 28, 2008

omg.
im so pissed with myself.

why
am
i
being
so
hard
up
for
their
attention

like
some
pathetic
fool

telling
them
to
stop
it

trying
to
get
them
to
listen

i
just
want
this
all
to
be
over



im missing You again.
i need to feel Your presence.
please.
please.


ahh.
the end of cts makes me so..
relaxed.

and yet, its once again te beginning of an argument.
just one after the other.
me with him,
him with her,
her with me,
and then a whole big circle again.

the whole childishness of it all.
i wish it would stop.
funny how it seems we become more like kids as we grow.

relationships are too hard to handle.
they take up too much time,
too much tears,
too much pain,
too much empty hope,
too much useless love.

urgh.

Dance With My Father Again
Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around till I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved

If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
How I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again

Ooh, ooh

When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way I would run from her to him
He’d make me laugh just to comfort me, yeah, yeah
Then finally make me do just what my mama said
Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he
Would be gone from me

If I could steal one final glance
One final step, one final dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
‘Cause I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again

Sometimes I’d listen outside her door
And I’d hear her, mama cryin’ for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me
I know I’m prayin’ for much too much
But could You send back the only man she loved
I know You don’t do it usually
But Lord, she’s dyin’ to dance with my father again

Every night I fall asleep
And this is all I ever dream

love,cassie

Thursday, June 19, 2008

omg.
im okay.
im okay.

PTL.
thank You!
thank You!!
thank You!!!
((:

i could have never expected any better, or asked for anything more.
i should have trusted You more, i cant believe i lost faith for those few days.
im sorry.
i should have known Youd protect me.
i should have realised i didnt need to fear.
i should have realised that You WERE there, every step of the way.

sometimes people forget,
and its amazing how you never do the same, every single time, no matter how many times it may be, or have been.

HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD.
HOW GREAT IS HIS NAME.
(:

love,cassie

Monday, June 16, 2008

TAG REPIES:
jo- wheeeeeeee jo! xDD
v-hey! thats to make up for other posts i failed to show.((: and anyway, you were the one who told me to blog longer last time. ;D
daryl-but you still did it! GOOD BOY!((:
tim-haha.WHO ELSE MAN?? XD
dawn-HEY! red is COOL okay.its vibrant and special and inspiring and exciting and its JUST REDD in itself!
huihui-you never say! id gladly bring you along.((:

........................................................................

and yeah.
my hunch was right.
we DID go fishing.

with his usual fishing kakis.
and i got squid ink squirted all over me.
it
was
GROSSSSSSSSSSSS
i swear, i almost died there and then.
WTH!
i didnt mind sea water
but black ink?!?!
my cap!my CLOTHES!
MY FACEEEEEEE!
stupid massive outbreak la.

this is classic bimbo-ness showing.((:
heh.

but other than the smell, scorching sun, threatening motion sickness and fatigue
it was fun.(:

daddy jumped into the sea in the middle of the ocean.
without lifejacket or anything.
just to save his 1000 over dollar rod setup.
thank god the current wasnt strong.
mummy and i almost strangled him for being so impulsive.
'$1000 leh! you mean you wouldnt jump in if you saw $1000 floating/sinking away?'
sheesh.

oh.oh.
eyecandy man!
the boatman
was
HOTTTTTT.=DDD
imagine being stuck with him in 10 square metres of wooden planks for 12 hours.
for 2 days!
RAWWRRRRR.
haha.

***THIS SEGMENT IS ESPECIALLY FOR DAWN LIM JIA EN!!
babe, i SWEAR i saw waffle dude at rompin k!
seriously!!!
with his classic getup, cap and rolled up pants and monkey-faced and all!
and i wasnt having delusions/illusions, cause my mum mentioned how beng he looked!!!
it was SUUUUPER weird.
like,
WAFFLE DUDE?
in malaysia at the most random of places?
strangely and scarily coincidental.
hard to imagine him as any other guy besides the waffle dude @ SA selling waffles though. xDD

okay.
i have nothing else to say.
except to:
IHMYC- sorry i missed the pol party guys.i was POOPED. and i was pretty late already anyway. =/
guides- sorry in advance. i miss ya all.so so so bad.

love,cassie

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

okay.
so im gonna try and squeeze as much as i can into this post for everything that has happened the last two weeks.

tuesday.
service learning.
im in love with the kids.
seriously.
THEY ARE SO UBER UBER UBERLY ADORABLE.
like disney princesses.=D
and yeah, there were difficult kids.
but they all slowly became really nice to me when i started treating them nicer too.((:
an experience i shall never forget.
i just wanna share a prayer i learnt,
it caught my attention for being so simple but so meaningful.
Dearest Jesus,
great and good,
thank you for this daily food,
bless over us as we pray, watch over us for the rest of the day,
in Jesus' name we pray,
AMEN.


ms ye partly treated us to fish&co. !
and i got a free taxi ride home too, after that.

wednesday.
training@ ClimbAsia.
super few seniors.we wanted to pass them their invitation cards.POOT.
and i smsed every single one of them la.
TWICE.
can feel my wallet becoming lighter.
kian hong was being all strange in his smses.
and idzhar was making me feel so guilty cause he couldnt go for farewell. ><

thursday.
nothing much.
stayed home to mug?
and got darn stressed over farewell.
and the last minute issues.
drove me nuts.

friday.
farewell!
which turned out awesome in the end.
i shouldnt have worried too much.((:
but perhaps it was all my worrying that made it work too.
im glad that an event i planned went smoothly for once. xD

sat-monday.
WWJD Camp.
it was KINDA STRANGE, being in the same camp with your brother.
helping out in the camp meant for him.
i guess thats partly why i chose to do logs too.
just in case. i landed up with him.
yup.

it was GREAT.
the logs were POOPED.
i learnt some guitar chords in 2 days!
considering the only thing i know from a guitar is that it creates music, that is good okay!
heh.
OH OH.
and i can make the *TWANGGGGG* sound, i dunno how to say. xD

the kids are soo quiet.
AND IM SOO SOO GONNA RAH-RAH AND BE THE KIDS' CHEERLEADER AGAIN!!!
they were so responsive, my lovelies.<33
ryan, the girls OWNED okay, considering we were so much smaller in numbers than the guys.

where's thE PEANUT? GING GANG GOOOOOOOLI!=D
baby shark.
MAMA SHARK.
gramma shark.
PAPA shark.
ah gong shark.
SHARK ATTACK!
swim like mad.
TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET.

plenty of cam-whoring.
and THIS, is unbelievable.

imagine, cassie leow,
not writing A SINGLE FUZZY!
LIKE, WOAHHHHHHHHH.

but it came true.
OH THE HORRORS OF HORRORS.
haha.
im amazed.(:
really and truly, i didnt think id meant what i said.

today.
i skipped tuesday.
it was too boring.

TRAINING@ YISHUN SAFRA TODAY!
=D
we dida little of speed climbing.
and routes.
after you climb with 3 other guys
being the only girl there you realise girls ARE indeed more flexible than guys.
easier for us to twist and do sit-ins and side steps and drop-knees etc.etc.etc
but when it comes to strength and speed, you cant beat the guys.
mmhmm.

it was like private training cause so little people went.
but i liked it in a small group better, more attentin on me to improve and climb.
i guess im selfish in that way. =P

yeah thats it.

love,cassie

she didnt look like she would be one to do that.
took pills,
one by one.
until she fell sick.
and she refused to do anything about it.
why?
was it really that bad?
it would have been an utter disappointment.
for her from me.
for herself and her family.
i feel so sorry for her.
she doesnt understand how loved she is.


.
.
.
yeah i am jealous.
i should stop being,
cause i knew this was coming sooner or later.
those issues that lay unresolved,
whatever they were,
i still dont know,
theyd bound to come up sooner or later.
i guess i was just hoping itd be later.

i was stupid to think it was all okay.
because when you finally wake up from dreamland, you know its all over.
wake up, dear.you cant turn back time and expect it to go back to ignorant bliss.
its not the same anymore.
doesnt work that way.

learn to take disappointments,
you gotta learn that sometimes it aint what you do that makes you upset, and you dont cause and you cant help everything.
because theres only so much you can do.


i just wanna know why.


BECCA!THANKS ALOT FOR DISTRACTING ME. XD

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated themselves.
B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by.
Continue this game by sending it to other people.

If your loverbrother betrayed you, what would your reaction be?
complain to my mum,then my dad.then my friends.then to anyone else who will listen.
or have younger siblings.xD

If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
staying young.

What will your dream wedding to be like?
simple.funky.church.RED.=D

Are you confused of what lies ahead of you?
ERM.
erm.
did that answer the question??

What's your ideal lover bus ride like?
one with small kiddies smiling at you the whole way through.((((((((((;

Do you have a person that you wish you will be with now?
heh.
yea.

Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
both.

How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
if i really love him/her, id wait till i couldnt anymore.

If the person you secretly liked is already attached, what would you do?
liked,not loved?
too bad for me lor, i guess i gotta learn to give him up.
ive already done it once anyway.=/

Is there anything that makes you unhappy these days?
THOUSANDS.unfortunately.

How do you see yourself in ten years?
child psychologist/getting a bachelors/engaged?(i wanna get married at 28! xDD)

Who are currently most important people to you?
ivy
ryangoh
ce
becca
jac
roy
leon.
gerrard.
brother
parents
da ge.
tbg.
my rockclimbing DUDES!tim,nat,nic ng,mason,john,zhiwei,moses,luqman,thuhan,alexis,nic teo,UGLYjan?tackwei,george,anthony,kian shiong,bowen,paul,kianhong,yusong,lucas,izzat,idzhar,dom,haoxun AND MORE!
my rockclimbing BABES!dawn,cher,enya,rachel,sujun,zhunen
the kids in marymount centre.xD esp clarice,nicole,averil and ling jie.

What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
extraordinary.
special.
my very bestest friend.
SCARY sometimes.xDD

Would you rather to be single and rich or married but poor?
depends on how old i am first.
if im still like 20 plus, then single and young.
if im already 60 plus, got so much money also no use, so then id rather be married and poor.

What's the first thing you do every morning when you switch on the computer?
check my mail to see the crazy number my unread mails have reached to.

Would you give all in a relationship?
yeah.
i do my best for all man.

If you fall in love with two person simultaneously, who would you pick?
dunno.
ill see how if it ever comes to that.
the feeling must suck.

What type of friends do you likehave?
the creme de la creme.

If you were given the chance to turn back time, will you?
hell yeah.

What is the last thing you would do before you die?
smile,cry and hug everyone i know.
sing.

wait thats 4 things.
erm.must i really choose??

Last words to the person who tagged you (which you have never said before).
cheekuweetamachabobibichakakitahetudenay!!!!!!!! WAZZAAAAAAAAA!!!
8 people to be tagged:
tim
huihui
ryan neo
gene
daryl
jerome leow
weili
jolena

WAHAHA.

Monday, June 02, 2008

TAG REPLIES!
ryan neo: it's come and gone! )):
ryan goh: yeah i guess?
v: too bad! =p
huihui: me too!im going service learning though!!((:
nat: tsk.dynos seems to be the nly thing you talk about these days. xD


KL TRIP WAS LIKE AWESOME!!!
=DD
i so so so so so wanna go again man.

the trip there was LONGGG.
i think most of us slept throughout the bus ride.
thuhan studied.like,study leh!in the bus!
lunch was like, A&W!!!
DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN SINCE I HAD A&W??
i ordered a beary meal and they had this cute cute pen thingy which me and dawn got, and it became our source of entertainment for the rest of the journey to kl.
unfortunately,it was POURING when we reached kl.
okay maybe not pouring, but it was raining bad enough.
so we headed to Camp5 @ OneUtama shopping centre.
its asia's largest indoor climbing gym, and it was HUGE!
LIKE, ROCKCLIMBING HEAVEN.((:
i swear it was love at first sight.
there was this dude at the cashier who got me quite irritated.
like, he was going on and on about knowing how to lead climb and then he later confessed he only had level 1 certification.like, dont waste my time!i wanna climb.stop hogging the cashier i wanna make my payment.xPPPP
my group consisted of lucas,mason,yingqiu and nic teo.
there were some routes that made you feel totally good.
and they have these autobelay systems which are so awesome man!
unfortunately on these kinda things you cant rest if not you fall all the way down.wheeeeeeee...
their bouldering area is cool.a few of us(kian hong,haoxun,vincent,cher,dawn,lucas,mel)climbed up this slidey thingy and took some awesome shots.kian hong looked like he was going to fall flat on his face.super scary.
dinner was yoshinoya.
dawn and chermain had fish and co.'s, and they recounted about how paul was so so disappointed cause he wanted "LAMB SHANK LEH!" from secret recipe.
the food is CHEAP.even at some high class shopping centre as that.its like the malaysian vivocity.(:
i think nicholas ng is crazy.
he keeps taking photos of his mouth.xDD
and we on our way to the lodge when they were having this street performance.
and this dude was playing with the soccer ball.
and ive never seen anything like it.
it was HOT!!!
REALLY AND TRULY!
he was rolling it aoround his head and neck and doing all sorts of tricks and moves and i was mesmerised.
so was the rest of the bus peeps.
the lodge was a little disappointing.
small room with thumping music from the bar downstairs.
beds had buggies and no blanket, and aircon was stuffy (it was even shared between two rooms!) and leaking, making my bed all damp.
but nonetheless it was going to be lucas' birthday, and we were all cheered up by trying to see whatd happen during operation:toothpaste!
**kian hong went abit kuku after rockclimbing camp, he's been taking many photos of sleeping people, and new mannerisms such as smearing toothpaste on people have started popping up.=pp**

i didnt sleep till 4! cause thats when the music below ended.
waited for paul's knock on the door but didnt hear any at 5.30am.(chermain and dawn did!but DOBODY knocked.guess im the only normal one, then?xDD)
i assumed he didnt wake up and went back to sleep.
suited me fine.i was too sleepy anyway.
later when we all got up we found dawn sleeping in the stairwell cause it had gotten too cold and we didnt have any blankies to pass the night.
turns out that operation:toothpaste! failed cause lucas was WAY WAY WAY WAY awake before anyone else.so it was a disaster.
poor thing.itd have been fun.
we left pretty early the second day.
FINALLY SOME NATURAL ROCKCLIMBING!
it was a cool experience.
all the bat shit, and bird-poo-on-cassie-but-she-just-looks-and-seems-rather-neutral-and-nonchalent,as well as the mozzies and irritating grass.but it turned out surprisingly easy.
maybe cause they were easier routes but WHATEVER MAN.start small first.((:
and it had to rain.)):
but it was okay.
we packed up an i got myself a litre of chrysanthemum tea.
and vincent and i had tons of fun with a black kitten now affectionately known as bobby(once i had confirmed it was a guy.if not itd have been bibi.xD) while waiting for the bus uncle to arrive.
then weheaded back to oneutama.
me cher and dawn found that spending 17RM to climb fr like 2 hours was not worth it, so we decided to be nice and go walk around to find a nice dinner place to accomodate 30 peeps and host lucas's birthday.
and guess where we ended up?
SECRET RECIPE.
how ironical.
no prizes for guessing what paul ordered.
vincent tim nat john kian shiong ++ didnt climb too.they were WINDOW SHOPPING!=O
communicating over the walkie talkie is HARD.
though it was an AWESOME piece of entertainment.
and it started with tim's WAZZA!
classic man, i tell you.
you dont see hahn dong so sensible, he can go abit kuku sometimes too.
cake was CHOCO BANANA!!((((((((((:
and i had nice lasagna for dinner.i think like,70% of the entire table ordered lasagna.xDD
it might have been sugar hugh, everyone was so soo high after dinner.the boys went on to play with their walkie talkies, making whistling sounds, singing TheBeatles,playing cards,ogling at supposedly gay men, clapping to drum beats(which was FUN!like everyone thinking of their own rhythm and adding on.=DD) and passing around shrek ears!
oh, and we cant foget the smashing of cake into faces,shirts,and hair,can we?;)
the music was WORSE second night round,cause it was a FRIDAY.
i was getting a headache, so i decided to go upstairs to play bridge,taitee,cheat ad bluff with tim,nat,john,moses,zhiwei.
i have to say,the love-hate relationship between them(moses and zhiwei) is soo cute,its abit gay sometimes.=ptheyre like always arguing yet theyre always sticking together.xDD
moses: yeah its a love-hate relaTIONSHIP.he loves me and i hate him.
LOLLL!!!
that was one of the funniest things of the whole trip.
OH.
mason did a horrible thing.
now my mind just became more corrupted.
he came out of the shower with just his towel draped around his waist and was like,bare elsewhere!
i culd feel my face go red as he stepped into the living room.
'erm, cassie you can stop looking.haha look,she's gone red.'
WHOOPS.
ms wee chased us to bed soon after, but i didnt sleep till the music ended.
it was louder than the night before, how to?? )):

last day.
thank goodness i packed my stuff the night before.i was so tired i didnt think i could make it even if i rushed.
breakfast was, interesting i would say.we were sitting at the table when this small boy suddnyl appears and plonks himself into dawn,chermain and my lap.like, withou a word.then he takes out his baby doll, and makes it play this irritating twinkle twinkle little star tune., only agreeing to trade if mel gives him her can of unopened milo.like,WOAH.so young and so manipulative.and cunning.
we went to a different area of batu caves to climb.
no bat shit, but bird shit plenty.
i kena-ed.again.
but whatever man.
they were tougher this time round, and the area had more mozzies than the day before.
but no grass, so that was a relief.
i wore my cap around the whole day to hide my helmet hair.=/
there was this route, in which like only a few completed it cause it got really tough.especially after vincent climbed halfway,broke off a piece of rock, which was an important handhold,and made it one grade harder.
i tried, but before i could reach bird-shit cave, some bad bad rocks fell into my eyes.and i had to get down.
maybe it was a god thing, i didnt think id had enough energy to climb anyway.
so it probably saved me from the embarrassment.heh.
then we packed up and left.
immigrations was a breeze, there was NO ONE.at all.so that was a good thing.
ot was cards all the way in the bus.everyone was soo soo hyhped up about the whole trip.

i have to say, it was a great experience, and im going to get my level two soon so i can go back again and lead climb this time.
gosh i love climbing.

((:

sunday was sec2 camp training.
role-playing was fun, i got to be a bored kid, which was exciting caue i was being so disruptive.SIAN JI PUA.then i took held up the water hose which got everyone scared, and tore paper into kenneth's hair.
i missed frisbee cause i had to mug.xP
how utterly horrible.

today was cleaning of equipment.
washed groundsheets,rope bags,had to hand in farewell proposal, and i got my exco position.
treasurer.
i guess i cant hide the fact that i was disappointed, but i was prepared for it.
in any case, the people who got cap and vice cap are fit for th job.
i couldnt have picked better people than them already.
so congrats tim and dawn, you guys better do your job well if not im gonna kick your asses.not that i have any doubts at all.=DD
then poon came to my home to settle the invitation cards.

and now i gotta sleep.
BYE.

love,cassie